Several years ago, one of my yoga teachers shared a mind blowing thought at the start of class,
“It’s not about how deeply you do the posture, but how deeply you breathe while you’re in the posture.”
Admittedly, I didn’t get it. At all.
My overly competitive mind short circuited at this new concept. What the heck did he mean by saying “how deeply you can breathe while you’re in the posture”? Wasn’t yoga about mastery of the body? Wasn’t this practice about making the best, most pretty shapes, and whoever looked the coolest won at yoga??
I didn’t want to admit my vanity was still invested in the seductive side of the physical practice. Yoga poses, when done well, are a pretty thing to behold. After all, don’t we all have that hard to quell, pesky desire to be pretty?
It took me another year of practice and a few injuries to finally understand what he was getting at.
I was approaching yoga from an athlete’s mindset. I wanted to conquer the postures and manifest the most beautiful expression of each position my body could muster.
It took hamstring issues and shoulder pain to slow me down.
With these two, very real and uncomfortable situations staring me in the face, I realized I needed to take a second look at my approach to yoga.
I remembered what my teacher said all those years ago. I started to repeat it to myself. At first with reluctance, eventually with frequency. Instead of pushing my body to extremes, I put more focus on the breath.
What ended up happening was unexpectedly beautiful.
The tyranny of my ambition started to dissolve. The drive I felt to be the best at something began to deteriorate. In its place was a deeper appreciation for just being in the pose.
It became less about the prettiness factor and more about the presence factor. I was practicing being present, not being “perfect”.
This struggle is ongoing for me. My ego still wants daily affirmation. My ambition, which is not all bad, still encourages me to pursue goals. But the breath keeps these two in check. By bringing me back to the moment, it helps me find balance.
I still want to do well in my life (inhale)……but it doesn’t have to be figured out right now (exhale)
I still want to explore what my body and mind are capable of (inhale)…… but the real blessing is having the never guaranteed ability and opportunity to continue the exploration (exhale).
I still want to do the postures (inhale)….. but now I enjoy them infinitely more because breath and life fill them with purpose (exhale).
I’m finally starting to get it. It only took me five years! 🙂
