One of the initial things that drew me to yoga was the physical challenge. As a self proclaimed “forever athlete” I loved how different it was from anything I’d ever tried before. It made me move in fascinatingly unfamiliar ways, while using muscles I never knew existed. Each day I was exploring these new and crazy shapes, waking up the next day very achy, but in a good way. Pretty soon, I noticed the changes in my body. I became addicted to the physical results.
Little did I know, another subtle benefit was sneaking its way into my life; self awareness.
As a yoga teacher, I get to watch people working through their practice and observe their reactions to the postures. Students who have been practicing for a while become familiar with the poses and, without knowing it, they build expectations for certain yoga postures.
They start to get frustrated when they have a rough day and “downward dog” feels more like “Dear Lord, I’m dying!” or “tree pose” ends with “timbeerrrrr!”.
I watch their faces contort into frustrated frowns as they falter and struggle. I can almost hear their angry thoughts, “G*d Damn It! I could do this before! I should be able to do this now! Why do I suck??”
When I see these looks of irritation, I tell them what I wish someone had told me in that moment, “Don’t worry if you wobble in the balance. Some days the balance is there, some days it’s harder to find. Instead of being hard on yourself, ask why am I wobbly?” The reasons why start to pop up right away;
I went for a super long run yesterday and my legs are tired.
My mind is distracted, I’m still thinking about that fight I had with my friend.
My big toe keeps lifting up and off the mat making me unstable as I balance.
Now, Instead of fighting these reasons – accept them, use the knowledge of their existence to inform your approach to the practice;
I’ll go easy on myself. Yesterday was a good workout.
Time to let go of that fight with my buddy. Things will work themselves out.
Okay big toe – you know what you need to do! Stay glued to the mat.
This slow build up of self awareness leads to a deeper, more satisfying layer of the practice; a more mindful and internally peaceful state of existence.
Absolutely, your butt starts to look amazing in jeans. No denying your arms are toning up and the tummy starts to feel tighter. But even more enticing, your brain waves start to slow down and your thoughts are drawn into the moment. This shift towards mindfulness helps you understand why you feel amazing sometimes, so-so most of the time, and maybe really shitty every once and awhile. (You’re allowed, everyone has crap days).
The physical practice is usually what gets you through the door, but it’s the peace of mind that will keep you coming back to the mat. Ultimately, we all end up looking like shriveled up raisins, with saggy skin and laugh lines. I’m more interested in how my mind will be working during those last few days on the planet. A beautiful body only lasts so long, but a beautiful mind lasts a lifetime. So by all means build up muscles, but invest and find rest in mindfulness.
