I read an amazing book about yoga a few years back.
“The Science of Yoga” by William J. Broad.
If you love yoga, if you’re curious about yoga, heck if you like good writing read this book! It is chock a block filled with the history of yoga, current trends, future predictions and well researched facts about an ancient way of life that has gone through waves of transformation.
The well loved copy I have is filled with writing in the margins. Nothing too deep – just notes on things that intrigued me and juicy points I wanted to remember.
My first reading of the book had prompted me to write something; my reason for teaching yoga. The all encompassing, very honest look at yoga Mr. Broad had so gracefully put to the page left me staring at my reasons for loving this practice as much as I do.
When confronted with love – I write it out.
I forgot about this little journal entry. It wasn’t until someone I lent the book to gave it back to me. I was combing through the book just re-enjoying it when I came across the words I wrote several years ago.
I went pale. My stomach dropped. What had I written?? What had I just sent out into the world in the hands of someone I barely knew?!
I read the words. My stomach settled. I felt at peace.
Sure the words were raw, but they were the truth. Like an emotional gush ball, what I wrote made me tear up. I was reminded why I decided to devote myself to the teaching of yoga. It’s a bit ‘stream of conscious’ but it still makes a fair amount of sense. Here are the words I scribbled in my book several years ago:
Why did I decide to teach yoga?
Because it felt wrong not to.
Even in this moment when my mind feels saddened, I see the path that lead me to teach yoga.
Eyes closed. Breath Deepens. Coveted calm sets in.
Nerves still reverberate with worry. My head and heart counter one another, it’s a constant knowing versus experience between these two. Peace will commence in the practice. Even if peace is not found, issues are unearthed. The EXACT issue I never knew I needed to address comes to the surface. My heart speaks about bruising and brokeness.
“Who hurt you?”
I ask my heart.
“You did” — it answers.
I broke my own heart. Here I am left with the task of loving and forgiving myself for being the main culprit of inflicting pain in this life.
Love thyself — if you don’t love the vessel, this person you are, how can you sail up to your neighbour and offer them help when your own ship is taking on water?
I will always need help. I need a voice of reason. One that has gone before me. Stay humble. Stay willing to learn.
Even though it means a life of early mornings, sweaty bodies, emotional upheaval, constant humbling, running in between yoga studios and posting things to the insta world, I wouldn’t exchange it for anything. Even with the darker sides of yoga (and trust me, there is a darkness to yoga, just as there is to everything) I wouldn’t exchange it for anything.
Be sure to read “The Science of Yoga” — who knows what it will prompt you to write, or maybe even try. Like yoga…maybe try yoga <3
