Last week’s blog touched on the idea of emotional intelligence within the practice of yoga. If you’ve not had a chance to read it, click HERE to have a gander.
I wanted to dive a bit deeper this week and talk about ways we can use the yoga practice to increase levels of emotional intelligence. This blog is all about taking yoga off the mat and into our day to day existence by using asana work to become nicer, more emotionally aware human beings.
This is pretty much the point of the practice. As I’ve said in the past; you can do a beautiful handstand but still be an a**hole.
What is the point of doing this practice day in and day out if we don’t end up becoming a better, kinder version of ourselves?
To Begin: Start by observing how the body and mind reacts in certain postures. This can tell us a lot about ourselves. While watching how we react, keeping in mind we have the ability to control how we respond to these asanas or situations we build self awareness and self-control.
For example; certain postures makes us tense up, feel anxious, or resistant. When we’re in them or when we know they are coming we anticipate pain, discomfort and often look for ways to avoid them.
The same can be said for real life situations. There are people and scenarios which cause us to tense up, get anxious, irritated, or anticipate the discomfort of an unwanted social interaction. We clench, brace and seek for ways to avoid.
Bear in mind, avoiding unnecessary pain is helpful and highly recommended. If a posture is definitely hurting you in a bad, potentially injurious way, don’t do it.
By extension: If a person is a genuine sociopath, narcissist or simply not nice, and you have the option to cut them out of your life – do it!!
For the more nuanced situations, like that co-worker who just rubs you the wrong way and irritates the heck out of you, but you know is essentially harmless, the reaction is different.
Imagine holding chair pose for more than five breaths. It’s not very fun, it irritates and bugs you, but by building patience and strength it ultimately becomes good for you.
You may never come to love chair. Just like you may never come to love Susan and the tuna sandwiches she brings to work and somehow manages to eat near you every day. However, by learning to accept these postures and people we become more patient, more understanding and less of a reactionary jerk.
To take it one step further; once we understand how we react and have taken the time to build patience, it creates mental space to question why a person may be acting a certain way.
Maybe Susan brings tuna to work everyday because she’s trying to increase her fish intake. Maybe she opens it near you because she likes being around you. Maybe her mom used to make her tuna sandwiches and it gives her a sense of connection to family. Who knows?! The point being, you have a chance to better understand Susan and realize she’s not trying to bug you, she’s just being Susan.
Another opportunity to increase emotional intelligence in the yoga practice is by practicing empathy.
Many yogis know what it’s like to hold boat pose for a long time. For most people, it’s not a pleasurable experience. While in a class of many yogis all holding navasana together, there is a sense of solidarity that can form, “We’re all in the same boat you guys” – is a dad joke I have admittedly used in class.
In real life, when you come across a person who has been in a situation you have experienced, the same solidarity applies. Maybe they’re grumpy because they have a big exam coming up, a family member is unwell, bills are piling up, they’re having a crappy day – all situations we have most likely been in ourselves. In these moments we can commiserate with one another and offer comfort, a listening ear, or a small gesture of compassion like a hug or a “hang in there kitty” gif.
Increased emotional intelligence is an underrated benefit of the yoga practice. Yes, yoga can make the body fit, lithe and beautiful. Even so, at the end of the day pretty bodies fade and sag. The hidden effects of yoga like emotional intelligence, mental calm and deeper connection to the soul create the inner beauty we were always told as kids matters most.
So the next time you step on the mat remember you are strengthening more than a chatarunga. You are strengthening the heart and soul.
