Niyama: (Sanskrit) Positive duties or observances. Recommended activities and habits for healthy living, spiritual enlightenment and liberated state of existence.
When I first learned the niyamas, my initial reaction was – “Wow, this is intense and asks a lot of me.” Thus, I was overwhelmed with the urge to immediately eat triscuits and take a nap.
The transformative change the niyamas suggest didn’t become palatable until I began breaking each of them down into bite size pieces. As reasonable morsels, they became feasible guidelines to the bumbling life path I was currently on.
When I chose to look at them as gentle and loving directions intended to help, not restrictions or buzzkills, it became much less daunting.
One of the major deterrents for lasting change is the dread many of us hold towards the work. If you dislike the task, if it doesn’t look appealing, there is a very high chance you will avoid it in any way possible.
Many memes, youtube clips, instagram scrolls and netflix binges later and you’re still staring at that ab roller across the room with a deep sense of loathing.
It’s almost like we need to trick ourselves into self improvement.
Like Mary Poppins used to say – a spoonful of sugar….scratch that. For our yogi, health aware mindset – “a spoon full of unrefined, single origin coconut sugar helps the alternative medicine go down!” – if your eyes didn’t roll, I didn’t word that last sentence correctly.
However, there is another, stronger deterrent that effectively gets in the way of lasting change:
Not believing we are worthy.
I want to dive into something before we even consider the wisdom of the niyamas.
Self acceptance
Once you come to believe the self, who you are, is worth caring for, the real work of change can begin.
Getting to this point is no walk in the park for many of us. I spent many hours trudging through the swamps of self loathing, and occasionally take vacations there, settling into the mire of familiar sadness rather than running forward into the flower laden fields of newness. But trust me when I say – you deserve a beach home, not a shack in a swamp. And if you don’t believe it yet, I will be here believing it for you until you’re ready. I had many a friend and family member do the same for me.
Much of self love begins with the stories we tell ourselves. Who do you believe you are? What abilities do you know or think you have or don’t have? Is that really the case?
Was there someone in your past that told you you couldn’t do something, be something, accomplish something? Ask why you believed their voice more than your own.
Look at these questions with honest, unwavering eyes. Most importantly, be compassionate as you do this. Many of us have stories in place as coping mechanisms. Avoidant behaviours often exist for a reason. Instead of harshly judging the negative storylines we tell ourselves, ask what their point of origin may be. Question why we rely on them to define who we are.
Believing in self worth puts us in a state of mind for positive change. At the risk of sounding self-help-y let me be frank – the work of believing self worth is the fight of your life. It is no small thing.
So take the time to illuminate the past and the stories you hold, and tell yourself. Understand why they exist, and then choose to move forward with positive self stories, based on the very real fact that – You are worthy.
I would like to end with an excerpt from the DESIDERATA. Words to aid you in the fight for self acceptance and worthiness:
“Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have the right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, the universe is unfolding as it should”.
Namaste and Niyamas, ya’ll ♥️
