Tami Klein Photography
A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of sharing my “Business of Yoga” teacher training module with the students of Shawna Turner’s Yoga School. I began the talk with the following question;
Who here has a complicated relationship with social media?
Not surprisingly, almost all of us in that meeting did. A realization that left me feeling much less alone.
Over time, and especially over the pandemic, I’ve felt my relationship towards the online world change. These past 23 months I’ve watched as many of my peers switched gears by either going full force, taking a step back, or pivoting and leaving social media entirely. Seeing this, I knew I was not alone in this recalculation.
My approach to social media has almost always been some derivative of, “how do I use social media, without letting it use me?” a question I find myself constantly readdressing as the forum and my intentions shift and change.
It’s an undeniable, seemingly necessary business tool (in particular for yoga teachers) that helps level the playing field. Even so, for that statement to be wholly true we would have to ignore complicated algorithms that skew engagement, questionable censoring of minority, marginalized and BIPOC accounts, and accounts that have non-patriarchal messaging. Keeping these shortcomings in mind, for small businesses it still provides decent, somewhat accessible advertising. But the cost, although not monetary, often goes unseen, until it isn’t.
The adverse effects on mental health, the volatility of the platform’s safety (we all remember that ‘fateful’ day Facebook and Instagram crashed earlier in 2021), the pressure to present ourselves in a palatable way all create compound interest that can negatively cost our overall health. Even if the presentation of your brand is that you’re an ‘approachable hot mess’ it is possible to get stuck in the online narratives we create for ourselves. Add to that the feeling of spinning your wheels, or yelling into a void of comment sections, not to mention the danger of falling down deep pockets of misinformation. All of these things can accumulate creating harmful effects, potentially damaging the energy and insight we need to engage with the already tricky task of personal growth and healthy intrapersonal understanding.
To quote the comedian Tom Papa, “I never get off of social media and say “Wow, good for everyone!” Nope. I usually end my scrolling sprees with a sinking feeling in my chest, like my will to live has been slowly drained from my body. As I look at unattainable ideals and try to digest the impossibly immense amount of information I’ve just consumed, I end these phone staring sessions in a state of mild to morose disillusionment.
I admire those who have struck a good balance with their online platforms. There are people that appear to post with ease and use the forum without seeming to feel coerced by it. But I can’t help but sense how many of us, myself included, find it to be an arduous journey that can wear down a person’s inner resources.
To remedy this depletion, while talking with the yoga teacher trainees mentioned earlier, I found myself suggesting a few things. These are things I repeatedly mention as a self reminder, just as much as I would hope they could become an invitation of permission to readjust or step away for anyone else.
Here’s what I’ve found myself doing/remembering the past several months;
-Don’t be afraid to take breaks
-Don’t be afraid to switch your messaging or content if you find yourself moving in a different direction. You may have gained traction with certain subject matter, but if you are feeling pigeon holed, switch gears
-You are not your account
-What is sustainable for you when it comes to frequency of posting?
-What are you comfortable sharing without feeling like you have over shared unnecessary details? I like to use the term ‘vulnerability porn/overexposure’ for this one – in short; the sharing of too much information in an attempt to gain attention for issues and private matters you yourself have not worked through and healed from.
-What would serve you and your personal development as well as your business?
-What leaves you feeling internally uncompromised?
-You are not a “niche”. By all means offer your specific areas of expertise, BUT also allow yourself to be multifaceted, however that ends up looking on or offline.
–We are not products, we are people. Seek ways to protect and nourish your human-hood in this undulating, unpredictable realm.
Everyone’s answers and reactions to the above questions and recommendations will be different depending on their comfort level and level of interaction with social media. However, I believe having this type of critical thinking based conversation with ourselves every now and again is important.
The online world is constantly morphing and accelerating towards unsustainable speeds of content creation. And our lives are coursing along at breakneck pace with it. Even after the initial forced pandemic slow down had many of us realizing how ridiculously fast we were going. Figuring out what works online takes time, trial and error and the permission to say “I need to take a goddamn break”.
Along with the need for taking breaks, there is another growing issue that caused me to reevaluate my usage of social media. That issue being what I’ve very unofficially decided to name ‘identity entrenchment’. Getting stuck in the online image we have created for ourselves.
I mention this in reference to the concept of a person as a brand. I say this as someone who has gone through the branding process, had a logo created and has given this whole arena a decent shot.
I absolutely believe it was worthwhile process. I still use my logo to this day. It is a useful business practice that helps people find you online and standout in an overly saturated industry. It’s also a route of self discovery. The questions I had to ask myself in the process of creating my website and logo were very self reflective and revealing. They aided me in getting a better idea of what I wanted to accomplish as a business owner. This branding homework showed me what I wanted to, and was willing to share with the world.
However, even this has a flip side. Like so many people over the past 2 years, I have gone through change, upheaval and have been quietly realigning my priorities behind the scene. In the process I’ve realized how much I’ve attached my identity to being a yoga teacher. I felt pangs of guilt as I started to apply to jobs elsewhere, getting hired and then deciding not to move forward because it didn’t fit with who I knew myself to have become. (Either that or the business owner was a condescending know-it-all who asked me about my psychology degree by saying, and I quote “So, psychology. Tell me about that. Was that something you decided to study before you knew better?” I won’t use names. We’ll just allude to him as ‘douche canoe’).
As I went through this process, I came to realize I had let my online persona of “yoga teacher” overcome other parts of my identity. I had unconsciously been backing myself into a corner. Of course investing years and countless hours of teaching and study into this career and my deep love for it also sways my choices. Even with that in mind, I was feeling this consistent pressure brought on by the approval I’d received in the past, and definitely self-inflicted by my own insecurities, to maintain the one, fairly public aspect of myself; yoga teacher.
And that is not healthy.
I say this as a very self-aware, actively reflective adult woman, who has a decent amount of personal agency and capacity for introspection. Throw this kind of identity entrenchment, tension and addictive approval at someone who is still in their formative stages, and the results can’t be beneficial.
I also say this as a young woman, born in 1984, who straddles the analog and digital age. I am eternally grateful I did not have to navigate the merciless world of adolescence with social media in existence. Growing up, individuating and finding your identity is hard enough without adding the relentless external pressure social media creates to “present” or “look” a certain way. Even so, the determinative years of my early twenties were spent being introduced to the online world. I often wonder if aspects of my life and personhood would look different without having had the forum of Facebook or Instagram to navigate.
Try this experiment; watch yourself go through the day. Notice any time you find yourself saying “oh! I should post and share this on my stories/feed!” Make note of how your body and mood feel in this moment. Is there a tightening of muscles? A sense of gentle urgency gripping your chest and mind? Are you suddenly more alert and tense? These are obviously leading questions, but my guess is that you will feel something similar to these sensations.
This constant, often subconscious impulse of needing to share pulls us out of the present moment and into a place of tension and anticipation. A place of addictive dopamine hits and distracting scrolling sessions.
And that is not healthy either.
The trick seems to be making yourself aware of that subconscious impulse, pausing to notice it, and questioning its motives.
Yes, sharing ourselves and parts of our lives with others is a great way to connect. If we are using the tool of social media to grow our business, it often feels like, and is a necessity. The choice to step away from social media entirely is gradually becoming more of a privilege. Many of us rely on this realm as a way to make ends meet, and it is not a world that is going away any time soon.
Even so, as we have come to understand, especially over the past 22 to 23 months, this pseudo online connection can only carry us so far before we start to lose our ever loving minds at the thought of one more zoom meeting or tik tok reel.
So consider this article to be an invitation to take into account the sneaky ways in which the usage of social media is affecting personal development. Feel permission to let go of, step away from and reevaluate your relationship with your online accounts and presence. Especially if you feel like it has taken on a life of its own. If you find it skewing your perception of who you are. If it has become a distraction that has pulled you away from, or deterred your own development, set it aside for a while. If, like me, you have felt an increasing amount of pressure, anxiety and fear around the thought of ‘putting yourself out there’, it’s okay to take a step back and regroup. I promise you will be fine when and if you decide to return.
And yes, I fully acknowledge the irony of using social media to share this message. But this irony encapsulates the point quite nicely; social media in and of itself is not evil. It is a useful and powerful tool of connection and engagement. The challenge is not feeling like you’re the tool being manipulated by the deeper undercurrents of quick approval and easily accessible dopamine laced distractions.
We are so much more than what social media allows us to be. So take time to go offline and be those things. You and your mental health are worth it.
