I can’t take it anymore.
If my mind goes over this worry one more time I’m gonna lose it.
Oh gosh darn it…..there it goes again! Cycling through the same patterns. Doing the same thing again expecting different results. Even though it knows this is the very definition of insanity!
For a brain you’re not very smart!!
This is physically painful. Everytime I put myself through this it causes my whole body to tense up, my shoulders to rise, my breath moves out of my chest and into my throat. I’m my own worst enemy right now.
Brain, you love to mull over worst case scenarios like a dog with a bone.
I realize living off of “what ifs” is like trying to survive on sugary espresso shots of anxiety. Every time I entertain the “what if” it sends my pulse racing and my body trembling until it finally plummets into a caffeine crash of giving up before even trying.
And yet I’m addicted.
I feel like I’m getting something done by worrying the crap out of a scenario. Choosing to project an outcome instead of actually creating one.
I know what I need to do. I need to move.
Get off my butt. Break through the resistant, petulant wall of “I don’t wanna” and get on a yoga mat, go for a walk, move the tension out of my body by making muscles work and sweat slide down my cheeks.
I’ll imagine every bead of sweat is like a tiny concern rolling down my skin and splashing into oblivion on the floor.
Every warrior, every down dog is a chance to centre myself and send the breath into my chest, into my belly where it belongs. Where it makes a difference.
I will outsmart my brain by using my muscles, until worry gets lost in motion.
When I can’t take it anymore, I will take it to the mat. I will take it to movement.
