I was listening to a fascinating podcast the other day. It compared the use of psychedelic drugs to the practice of meditation. There were astonishing parallels between the effects of both mind altering options. They both operate by quieting the portion of the brain that defines self or ego. As a result, the brain ends up interpreting its connection to things other than self with greater intensity. Basically – both psychedelics and meditation help to dissolve the ego leading to a better feeling of connectedness.
It got me to thinking about the practice of yoga. A more physical expression of meditation, it encourages us to simultaneously explore the body mind and spirit and yet not overly attach to our physical form and thoughts.
Talk about walking a tricky tightrope. On the one hand we’re told to know ourselves, our limitations, strengths, and defining features. Not just the physical, but the emotional and intellectual to say nothing of the spiritual. We’re taught to build an image, a road map, of who we are. Something we can reference as we navigate life.
So you’ve done the work. You have a pretty good idea of who you are, your needs, your personality. Good job!!
Then yoga comes in and says, “Now let it all go!!”
Wtf.
I mean come on! I just did all this work to get to know myself better.
However there’s a catch.
It’s not about abandonment of self. It’s the integration of self into the larger framework.
The phrase “no person is an island” applies directly to this concept. We are entities that are an inseparable part of a larger whole. The idea is to soften our idea of the boundary between self and the world at large.
Ego and it’s creation is not inherently bad. We need to create this self and build up our ego. It’s a container to hold identity. It’s that part of us that makes us foolhardy enough to think, “heck yes I can do this crazy thing, like leave a steady job and teach yoga!” Without ego we’d never dare, move forward, or conquer.
The trick is to not let the creation of ego make us forget we are a part of something greater than ourselves. We are the awareness that lies beneath the ego.
Seems fair. Know yourself, love and appreciate yourself, but don’t get all extra and swing into the realm of narcissism, conveniently forgetting that it ain’t all about you.
This is not an easy task in a world that constantly tells us the opposite message.
For example, I’d like to use the world of yoga teachers and social media. We’re encouraged to use it to connect to others. It’s an undeniably useful business tool. Ironically, the connection is made by us talking constantly about ourselves, what we’re up to, who we are — follow meeeeeee is the prevailing message. When really, the end result of a good meditation or yoga practice is an absolution of the ‘me-centric’ mindset.
We’re caught in a world that actively encourages us to be individuals, define who we are, be proud of what we accomplished, and then tell the world aalllll about it with pretty pictures.
On the other hand, yoga teaches us to unpack the ego, let go of the conscious mind and instead let the unconscious mind and our energetic connection to the world around and inside us prevail.
My practice these days has turned into an unpacking of the ego, saying thank you to my ego while I do the work of letting go of boundaries it encouraged me to build, and a very slow, nerve wracking integration of the energetic connection I feel to things outside of the self. An energy I also feel deep inside.
My hope is to express this connection by being kinder towards others and self. Letting go of ego so I can let love flow.
At the end of the day, the ego is not evil. The ego is needed to help us gain autonomy and a sense of security within our own lives. But the balancing act of being a creature with a brain that seeks to constantly define self and boundaries and a heart that craves connection beyond definition and boundaries is worthwhile, lifeline work.
