I’m sure we’ve all heard the phrase “stereotypes exist for a reason”. There is usually an iota of truth in them. The same can be said for clichés. Although it is good to challenge the status quo, sometimes the tried and tested phrases we hear day in and day out are useful and worth applying
1) You are exactly where you need to be
This phrase is particularly helpful when you are caught in a comparative mindset. When you notice you are measuring yourself against another person’s life or accomplishments. If you are analyzing your current state using the measuring stick of societal expectation, which rarely leaves room for individuality, road bumps or very real tragedy. Put the measuring stick away, take a deep breath and repeat the phrase above.
(Also really helpful if well laid plans are falling a part, or you are running late. Especially when the TTC does what it does so, very well).
2) I don’t know
Particularly helpful when you are attempting to predict what you think will happen in the future, or if you are judging another person based on their actions. These words immediately remind us of how little we actually know. Situations or humans are affected by so many unseen, unknown factors. It’s best not to assume you know what someone is going through. We’re all on the struggle bus in some way.
By letting go of predictive thinking, you have the chance to pull yourself back into the present moment. Focus on what is right in front of you. “I don’t know” — and that’s okay.
3) W.A.I.T – Why Am I Talking?
A friend of mine who was enrolled in a conflict resolution course shared this acronym with me. It is SO effective at prolonging the spaces between hearing, feeling and reacting. Think of what it is you are about to say. Is it helpful? Is it true? Is it kind? Were you actually listening to what the person said before you decided to interject, or is this a knee jerk reaction?
Learning to exist in the space before speaking for a few moments longer can be so helpful for calming yourself down, to say nothing of how it could benefit the health of your interpersonal relationships.
4) You are enough.
This phrase is ubiquitous because it is true. It strikes a chord for so many people because it is an innate truth we all crave, but not all of us were raised with. When we learn to trust our “enoughness” the focus becomes less about accomplishing to prove worth. We learn to veer away from self-deprecating, self-destructive internal talk, and instead we can slowly (usually painstakingly slowly) move forward from a place of self worth. We can become more firm in the knowledge that our existence is sufficient. Trust your worth. It is a foregone conclusion.
5) Trust the timing of your life.
If you like to plan for the future, carry this phrase with you in the midst of your plans. There are billions of people on this earth (like, so many. Maybe have less babies? My Instagram feed needs a baby break) Why would our life paths all follow the same timing and trajectory? Let go of the ‘norms’ and instead tap into your personal loves. Shift focus towards things that bring you a deeper sense of purpose. Milestones mean very little when they are disconnected from purpose.
All of these phrases I try to use on the regular. It’s a constant practice I fumble my way through. But the result? A deeper, steadier sense of inner peace is a personal state worth cultivating.
So be Cliché. Use tried and tested phrases. May they bring you peace 🙏🏻
